Workshop: Diving Deep, Flying High

Diving Deep, Flying High

“This workshop explores wider aspects of our mind and connects deeper to our heart. We will use Tango music and dance to learn to...

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Workshop: Make a Deep Connection

Make a Deep Connection

“This workshop will explore the basic Tango movements, posture and connection to develop mindfulness of oneself and of the world around and to make a deep connection in dance and daily life...

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“This is inspiring work and anyone of us that takes mindfulness onto the tango floor is going to give and receive a superb connection through dance. The world needs this work to enable us all to give and receive wonderful connection. Heartfelt thanks!" ~ Sheila Sword

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Make a deep connection

Mindful Tango

“Deep connection is meaningful, rewarding and enriching. We may have thousands of “connected” online friends, but if none of these connections is meaningful, we still feel alone.

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Mindful Tango

Mindful Tango

Mindful Tango is a form of mindfulness meditation in movement. It is a new and novel way to practice mindfulness, combining absolute awareness and deep consciousness with the passion of the dance...

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What’s Mindfulness?

Mindful Tango

Mindfulness means paying attention to life’s experiences as they really are in the present moment. It is associated with openness and non-judgment, with patience and acceptance, without bias or expectation, ...

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Revenge is a dish best served… never

Written by david on . Posted in Articles No Comments

The Hawk: I return at last, after fifteen years.
Edmund: And what have you been up to?
The Hawk: Waiting, plotting, nurturing my hatred and planning my revenge.
Edmund: So, you’ve kept yourself busy?
– “Blackadder”

Wreaking your revenge

Within all dance scenes, one of the things that seems to cause most anguish is being “unfairly” rejected by a prospective partner, after we’ve asked them for a dance. We often retain the memory of rejection for a long time. It’s understandable, of course; we’ve been rejected. That’s never nice. But some people seem to take this one step further, with comments along the lines of “He / she’d better wait until I get good, then I can reject him / her. Mwah ha ha.” (OK, the “Mwah ha ha” may be silent).

We touched on this “I shall wreak my revenge” topic in the recent “Mindful Tango: Diving Deep, Flying High” workshop, and I thought I’d explore this more here (also, thanks to Terpsichorial Tangoaddict for addressing this issue in a recent post and jogging my memory).


Firstly, from a purely practical point of view, this doesn’t work. Revenge, it turns out, is not a good long-term motivator. If you’re spending all your time thinking and worrying about this, you’re not focussing on your own improvement. Good dancers become good because they want to be good dancers, because they are enjoy and are fulfilled by both learning and dancing. If you don’t enjoy it, don’t do it.


Secondly, though, and far more importantly, it’s emotionally damaging. We hold on to these bad experiences, we think about them, we obsess over them, we plan elaborate revenge fantasies about them. None of this is good for our own well-being, or for our own development.

Even when we tell ourselves that we’re using these as positive experiences – for example, when we try and learn “what we did wrong” – we are often still taking a path which anchors us to the past.

Let’s face it, there’s a very good chance that we did nothing wrong. Our desired partner may have been tired, may have wanted a break, may not have liked the music, or may simply not want to dance at that point. Within Tango, it’s everyone’s right to refuse a dance. The flip side of this is that people exercise this right, and sometimes they do so for reasons which seem capricious. Especially when we’re the ones being flipped.

Let it go

One of our key goals within Mindful Tango is to use loving kindness, within mindfulness, to help us let go of past negativity. To learn to accept – and then let go of – rejections, poor dances, mistakes or other bad dance experiences. And to bring ourselves to a point where we can enjoy ourselves dancing, all the time.


Q: I am already a dancer and enjoying tango, how will Mindful Tango help me? A: Whether you’re an experienced tango dancer or a beginner, Mindful Tango will show you how to deepen your experiences on the dance floor and how to extend these experiences to create beautiful moments in your daily life. Read more

About Us

Lotus Nguyen, a mindfulness trainer & coach, and David Bailey, a tango teacher, have come together to offer Mindful Tango programme, an innovative approach to tango and mindfulness practice, which brings a deeper connection and more fulfilment, both on the dance floor and in daily life. Read more

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+44 7947 070 598 (Lotus Nguyen)
+44 7767 784 238 (David Bailey)

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